Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
we should paint friendship bongs
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