I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.