We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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