do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
