I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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