I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I wish i was in the wii world.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
