I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
