Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
