I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
