dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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