With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
