we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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