So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
