last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
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Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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