nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
