All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
