Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
