True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.