How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
