He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing