She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?