Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
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I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
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He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel