:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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