who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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