dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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