You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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