dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Randomize
