I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Even my vagina gasped.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
