After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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