Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
