i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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