We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
