Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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