"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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