Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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