Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
