i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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