he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
