One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
