I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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