I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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