I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
