Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
