hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
