he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I didn't notice because vodka
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
