Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
