Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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