Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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