I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize