Texts From Last Night

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  (915): View more from Texas

  when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up

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  (915): when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up http://tfl.nu/inqg
  Replies (23) Good night (3570) Bad night (1282) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today

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  (301): Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today http://tfl.nu/gkj4
  Replies (13) Good night (5201) Bad night (1218) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.

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  (512): no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian. http://tfl.nu/oqdk
  Replies (15) Good night (3205) Bad night (1060) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Someone shattered a urinal.

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  (678): Someone shattered a urinal. http://tfl.nu/a493
  Replies (8) Good night (1592) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!

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  (717): I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?! http://tfl.nu/77lq
  Replies (7) Good night (910) Bad night (2827) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl

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  (703): I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl http://tfl.nu/f1pk
  Replies (7) Good night (1115) Bad night (1997) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight

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  (905): I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight http://tfl.nu/g5pa
  Replies (2) Good night (1494) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.

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  (443): I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites. http://tfl.nu/mbgc
  Replies (13) Good night (2444) Bad night (1380) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king

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  (406): Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king http://tfl.nu/0wfz
  Replies (4) Good night (1593) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.

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  (253): I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears. http://tfl.nu/f427
  Replies (8) Good night (597) Bad night (1477) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.

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  (801): Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day. http://tfl.nu/wa25
  Replies (7) Good night (502) Bad night (1246) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record

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  (818): I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record http://tfl.nu/mbk0
  Replies (5) Good night (1050) Bad night (357) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm always drunk lately

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears

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  (647): I'm always drunk lately (647): Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears http://tfl.nu/384i
  Replies (3) Good night (1036) Bad night (285)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again

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  (773): my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again http://tfl.nu/3fhf
  Replies (3) Good night (279) Bad night (506) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.

  (1-770): View more from Georgia

  You're a good friend.

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  (770): I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that. (1-770): You're a good friend. http://tfl.nu/ln0z
  Replies (2) Good night (1071) Bad night (220)

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