I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow