It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My feet surprised me
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize