Cold hands, warm shart.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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