Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
