the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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