at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
