I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
