I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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