He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
