he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
