A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
