I will die if light touches me.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
