I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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