My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
