You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
