look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I can't turn off my feet"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
