so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
