I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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