Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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