I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
