He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
