This girl is more easily done than said...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
