you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Randomize
