I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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