thus making me awesome and them whores
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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