talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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